Can I just say WTF!?!? I seriously can't take any more........
My Mom is now in the hospital. Evidently she has had alot of falls recently (I hadn't seen her in a month). But what I saw the other day was HORRIBLE. She looks like she got drug behind a truck for a few blocks... I won't go into it a whole lot. However, now I'm responsible for her medical decisions. She made me power of attorney over that. She can no longer live alone and must be put into an assisted living place or a home. I just hope she will be happy now. She won't be able to OD on meds, she will have good food to eat, will be kept clean, and hopefully she will have some people to talk to. I know how lonely she has been since Dad died a year ago... it really made her mental state a complete and utter MESS. Along with everyone else who has tried like hell to help her. Maybe now she won't push anyone away...
But seriously, can people just stop dying for a little while?? A very good friend of ours is about to lose his Mom soon. I know what he's going through and it hurts.... And my best friend who passed last month; her husband is going through hell, just trying to keep it together for his girls. All hell seems to have been unleashed all over again...
I just can't figure out for the life of me what all this death and heartache is supposed to be teaching me.... :'o(
I can't change a Goddamn thing, am forced to watch my Mother deteriorate mentally and physically, can't save the people I love from dying, and have no clue what to do about it all. Crawl in a hole and rot? I know I can't, but some days, it sounds pretty good. But I could never do that to Chris or the dogs or anyone else... that's selfish. I guess I'm left here trying to be strong and hold it together. I just pray for enough strength to do it....... and pray for better days to come......... *sigh*
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